Veronica Mars Watch-Along Week 14

[Graphic designed by the lovely Judith of Paper Riot]

So, how does this work, super sleuths? Go check out the Watch-Along kick off post for the skinny. I'll give you a second just in case...

All caught up? Good.

In case you already know the basics and just forgot what episodes are up today, here's the list:

• "Cheatty Cheatty Bang Bang"
• "Green Eyed Monster"

And, for NEXT WEEK:

• "Blast From The Past"
• "Rat Saw God"

Okay, enough business. Onto the fun stuff.

THE NOIR

So Veronica thinks the bus crash happened because of her. What's her proof? Curly Moran is found dead with her name written on his hand. This is relevant because Curly Moran did the stunts for an Aaron Echolls film and would know how to make a bus run off a cliff.

I don't know about you guys, but that feels pretty thin and conjecture-y to me. Definitely wouldn't hold up in court.

Anyway, aside from that barrel of absurdity, we've got a few other mysteries going on. First's there's all the stuff with Kendall - bribing an assessor AND sleeping with Logan - which leads to Veronica finding out about Papa Casablanca's dirty dealings.

Then there's all the stuff with Julie the psycho who kind of starts to put Veronica's romantic life in perspective. It's all: WHOA JULIE IS SO CRAZY and then V realizes she's about to do the same thing and then stops. But, like, where was Julie last year when V was running around accusing Logan of murder/rape/whatever every five seconds?

And speaking of accusing Logan of things, Veronica does that YET AGAIN in this episode. First she barges into his house and tells him to stop sleeping with Kendall - she's right, but dude. Seriously. Boundaries. And then she accuses him of calling Weevil the night of Curly's death. Although I'm not sure what straw she was grasping at there? Did Logan kill Curly? Was he setting Weevil up? I don't totally understand what she was trying to get at. Which is why Logan's snark in that episode is so very much appreciated.

I feel like it kind of sounds like I'm done with Veronica and just sticking around for more Logan. Which is possibly the case right now.

OH! And this whole thing with this guy in Chicago who claims to be Wallace's papa and Alicia? What is going on here? Keith, let's get with the sleuthing. I need to know what's happening here. AND I'd like to welcome Mac back. I don't know what's going to happen with Meg's laptop stuff, but I'm glad our resident computer hacker got called in to help out.

PARENTAL PROBLEMS
Dear Veronica,

Your father is a BAMF. He protects you, takes care of you and basically lets you do whatever the hell you like (within reason). AND YET you disobey him, lie to him and withhold important, life threatening information. I don't know what's going on in that tiny little blonde head of yours, but you should probably rethink your tactics if you don't want to end up screwing up your relationship with your father.

Sincerely,
Gaby

Because, really. V. You need to stop. You don't want to upset your father, so you don't tell him some dead guy washed up on a beach with your name on his hand? How long to you think you can keep this from him? And how upset is he going to be when he finds out you've kept this from him? Cheaters never prosper, but neither do liars and I feel like you should have learned this lesson already.

THE BROMANCE
Logan brings up a very important point this week. After he and Duncan get in a fist fight over a snarky comment Logan makes in Veronica's direction, my boyfriend makes it very clear to Veronica's man that the rift in the bromance doesn't come from Duncan's relationship with Veronica, but from Duncan's absence over the past summer. Y'know, considering Logan was on trial for murder and all that. Then Duncan throws the fact that Logan's father killed his sister in Logan's face and I just want to fall into a heap on the floor and cry.

I mean, way to be the most selfish jerkface in the room, Donut.

And now I'm gonna go offer Logan hugs and cuddles before this turns into a rant of epic proportions.

MEG
This whole thing is crazy. Duncan goes to the hospital every day? Also, Meg's parents are crazy strict and all that, but not letting Duncan or Veronica visit her seems a little much, even for them. So what the heck is going on here?

BRING ON THE SNARK
I wanted to quote everything said between Veronica and Lamb since the sarcasm there is just so perfect. But I held myself back. So please be proud of me.

Veronica: "So who are we exploiting now?"
Duncan: "The workers"
Veronica: "Exxxcellent"
Logan: "And now I've lost my appetite"

I have too, Logan. I have too.

Sacks: "Sheriff want to ask you some questions"
Veronica: "My answer was final. I will not go to prom with him."

LOLZ.

Wallace: "Hey, I like her, okay? Retract claws?"
Veronica: "Claws, what claws?"

Silly Wallace.

Jackie (on Pride & Prejudice): Even one page of this pre-Victorian corset crap puts me to sleep. Why can't we read Burroughs or something?

AHAHA. I love this.

Veronica: "There's a fine line between looking for a problem and creating one."

This is funny NOT because Veronica's funny when she says it but for the irony.

Veronica: "Oh sorry should I hide in the bedroom like a hooker? PERFECT."

Um. What does this say about your relationship, Veronica?

Logan: "My day is complete. Veronica Mars has accused me of evil."

OH LOGAN.

THE BOYS
I'm a little annoyed at everyone this episode. Except for maybe Logan.

• Weevil: What's going on with you, sweetheart? Are you spiraling out of control here? Get a handle on your shit, kay?
• Wallace: Say WHAT? Getting the girl while finding your supposedly dead papa? Shit be cray.
• Duncan: UGH. LEAVE.
• Logan: *pets*
• Cassidy: Whaaaat are you up to kiddo? 
• Dick: This manchild has a shirt that says 'I have candy.' This is all I ever needed to know.

And that's pretty much it for this week. Feeling upset at Veronica? Duncan? Everyone who's name doesn't rhyme with Shmogan? Feel free to talk to me about your issue, concerns and favorite snark moments in the comments below!

**ONE LAST REMINDER**
NEXT WEEK:

• "Blast From The Past"
• "Rat Saw God"