July 26, 2013


Fact: I don't like coffee. I just like saying Coffee Clutch in my best and deepest New York accent. Considering I'm a New Yorker, I'm pretty freaking good at it. So I've got my tea and I hope you have your heated beverage of choice, because it's time to gab the day away.

Okay, children. Gather 'round. It's class time.

Recently I've had a lot of friends (my IRL friends who don't blog and will probably never, ever read this on pain of death, to be more specific) wah wah-ing to me about not having something to do or feeling left out or screwed over by someone else. Basically, they're at home and they've nothing to do and DAMMIT THEY WANT TO BE DOING SOMETHING.

To them I say: 

But seriously.

You guys might not know this about me, especially those of you who've seen me out in the wild and have noted my completely and utter inability to stand still or keep to JUST ONE topic of conversation for longer than five minutes, but I could probably not leave my apartment for a solid week if there's access to the necessities (food, water, bathroom with shower...). 

In general my personal philosophy is: "I can only love and deal with people if I can also have my damn space."

So. How do you achieve this Do-Nothing-Zen I have clearly perfected?

1. Have nothing to do? DON'T SCRAMBLE FOR PLANS.
Did you last minute realize you don't have dinner plans? Did someone cancel on you? Maybe your friends are having a party you were invited to/can't realistically go to? Don't panic. Take a deep breath. This is it. Your opportunity has come.

2. Head to the grocery store.
Not everyone is properly prepared for a shut in day/night/weekend. Your only trip out is to the grocery store. Pop in, grab a frozen pizza, some ice cream, maybe a stack of DVDs if you don't have any at home and other assorted odds and ends, then SCRAM. 
[NB: You can also just order take out if you have a hidden stash of candy somewhere. That works too.]

3. Go home and lock the door behind you. 
Seriously. Bar the door. Chain it shut. Hide the key or something. IT IS A LOCKDOWN. (A love lockdown - sorry, I'm channeling Kanye. Which is clearly always good news.)

4. Make a stack of books/DVDs/boot up your damn computer and load some TV show.
This is going to be your entertainment for you weekend on your own.

5. RELAX and DO NOT MOVE for AT LEAST 24 hours.
You are alone. There is no one around to pester you or start in with you or ask you questions or I don't even know what people do. Because as fun as people CAN be, sometimes they are the worst and no one should subject themselves to that all the time. 

Look. I know a lot of people out there need to be around people 24/7. They get anxious or upset or they need to talk. But listen, you're allowed cell phones and computers during your lock in. You can be in touch with the outside world. I don't recommend it for the full detox effect, but, according to the rules, you're just not allowed to speak to anyone face-to-face. Because this is your detox. This is when you GET LAZY & BLOCK OUT THE WORLD FOR A WEEKEND. 

See? There's really no reason to get worked up over not having something to do on a Friday night. Seriously. Just think of it as a blessing. An out, if you will. 

Was this class helpful? Should I teach another one? What other topics should I yell about? Be sure to leave a course evaluation in the comments below!


  1. Amen! I TREASURE some alone time - and it's my idea of a little slice of heaven on Earth. I could read, watch tv, drink wine and pass out, not do dishes ... endless possibilities!

    Tanya Patrice

  2. Gaby, you are speaking my language. Being a hermit is my favorite past time. I don't know what the word "bored" means. I have a couch, a TV, a laptop, eighteen million books, WiFi, snacks, baking supplies, and a dog. WHY DO I EVER LEAVE MY HOME?

  3. YES TO THIS! I'm also incredibly fidgety and talkative all the time when I'm out (twinisies!) but funny enough, I'm also great at being alone and just relaxing. I mean, hello INTERNET. You're my new best friend for the day.

  4. I can't even tell you how much I love this post!

  5. Haha! Being a complete introvert, I could hole up in my home for a full week if I had lots of goodies to eat, a pile of books to read, and some TV/Movies to watch. I'd be in heaven. I love people, and I like socializing, but then I need some space. Now I really want a week without work or people to just read, read, read and relax.

  6. That is my recipe for a perfect night! I love me time. Especially when I have great books to read, can slip in to pj's and just slob!

    BookishTrish @ Between the Lines

  7. I love being home at night, it's relaxing. I rarely go out. I have a kid, so I stay home with her all day and a couple other kids I watch I'm normally good as long as I can talk to people on the phone or computer. But sometimes I do need social interaction outside my husband (who hasn't been very attentive or talkative to me lately, I'm a pregnant grump to him right now).

    Give me a good book or movie or tv series and I'll veg out, but I do need to get out at least once a week to go buy groceries or to the mall to get my social fix.

  8. I looooove doing nothing. That's why I unintentionally stopped hanging out with some of my friends (well, not completely. Just not often) -- I love sitting at home and reading. Or relaxing. I don't always like to go out or do THINGS. I am happy to be CHILLING OUT :)

  9. I have so much love for this post. In fact, you just described me on every weekend, Gaby.

  10. I do this all the time. And I don't feel bad. My mom worries that I'm going to turn into this giant loner, but I really am more content by myself with my books or doing nothing. I did homework and school non stop for so many years. The fact is the fact I can do nothing for once is AWESOME.

  11. <3 I actually get excited when my boyfriend calls to say he wants to hang out with the guys that evening 'cause I'm all like "READING NIGHT!!!" I don't think he'd appreciate me abandoning him for a full weekend though *le sigh*

  12. This is me almost every weekend... I'm living on the edge.


    Because seriously, we all need a break from people every once in a while. It's always nice to have nowhere to go, no obligations to fulfill, no people to see, just NOTHING to do. And to have your pick of things to do or what to eat or what to watch. So perfect.

    Also, this is yet another reason that we were meant to be friends.

  14. This post is flawless. Also, thanks for making my day TOMORROW, when I will be doing exactly this. I'm so looking forward to it.

    You're an excellent teacher.


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