January 3, 2014

What Do Non-Readers Do With Their Time?

Fact: I don't like coffee. I just like saying Coffee Clutch in my best and deepest New York accent. Considering I'm a New Yorker, I'm pretty freaking good at it. So I've got my tea and I hope you have your heated beverage of choice, because it's time to gab the day away.

Y'know those people in your life who don't read? Or even those people who don't read as much as I/we/you do? I'm sure you know a few. They could be a family member or a spouse or a friend...

Well, what do these people do in their spare time?

Think about it. When do you read?

  • When you're waiting in line for something.
  • During your lunch break. 
  • Before bed.
  • When you need some alone time.
  • When you've finished all your errands and such and have time to spare.
  • Because it's your freaking hobby and you make time for it. 

I mean, really, you can find me reading at least once a day. I probably spend two hours reading a day - on average. Not to mention all that time I spend writing these blog posts or tweaking little bits on my blog. That's probably another two hours a day (again, on average). 

I imagine people who don't spend those two hours on average reading and two more hours on average blogging must do something with their time. I guess I can imagine them watching TV/movies, getting involved with home improvement things, going to the gym, solving puzzles, playing video games, crafting, baking, napping, or maybe even spending time with friends and family (or, rather, more time with friends and family than I do, which is probably normal) among other things.

But normal things aside, here's what I imagine other, non-reading people do. Just because I'm crazy cracked out and I have nothing else to do at 2am while watching Sherlock.

  • Lining up dominoes in elaborate formations.
  • Breeding horses with rhinos in an effort to make unicorns a thing (again).
  • Hiking (lulz).
  • Building a shack in the woods for nefarious things (movies come from somewhere).
  • Prank calling people they hate/like.
  • Hiding your parents/siblings/roommate's stuff so they'll think they're going crazy.
  • Hunting down criminals and dispensing vigilante justice.
  • Dressing up as Barney and alternating between bringing joy to children and scaring adults to death.
  • Mimicking makeover montages from your favorite movies (preferably Pretty Woman with that song playing or that one from Princess Diaries - which is interesting because those scenes share a common actor and if you can name said actor you win all of the prizes).
  • Going on dates (major lulz).

SO. I'm clearly insane. I promise I don't do any of the things on that bullet pointed list. Although I wish I could make the second one a thing. That'd be pretty cool.

But indulge me. What are your made up things non-reader types do with their time? There are clearly real things - things we all do when we're not reading or blogging. But I want made up things. So leave me made up things in the comments below, yeah?